Genesis Rodriguez 
Yeah, a lot of you probably have no idea who the hell this is. And up until last week, neither did I.
Genesis Rodriguez (in addition to sharing a name with the greatest Sega product of all time) is one of the stars of Telemundo’s Dame Chocolate, an incomprehensible mess of a Mexican soap opera having something to do with a girl fulfilling her destiny in the chocolate industry. High concept indeed.
I would begin by slapping her around, which would hopefully cause her to start swearing at me in Spanish. And that would be hot. Her “Latin temper” would probably ensure I’d be in for one hell of a fight before being able to subdue her, but that’s a battle I’d win.
After reducing the comely young lady to a submissive and tearful state, I’d show my American patriotism by doing her from behind for a while, like an animal. And then, just because she’s got a really pretty pair of peepers, I’d flip her over and nut off in her eye. After finishing, I’d grab her by the ear and lead her to the door, where I’d dump her on my front lawn. If I had time, maybe I’d spray her with the garden hose or something.
Her fiery Latin blood. My prick paste clouding her vision. The bruises that will eventually swell up on her cheeks. Red, white, and blue, baby. I love America.
Michelle Trachtenberg
Oh, this one’s easy. I wouldn’t wash my hands for a week, and then shove a small handful of Valium down her throat with my foul fingers. When she’s done gagging, next comes the beer bong filled with Merlot.
After a half hour, when she’s good and loopy, I’d sodomize her over the edge of a chair while forcing her to watch The Ice Princess on a 52 inch plasma screen. To make things a little more uncomfortable, I’d ask her all the questions about the film that aren’t answered in the audio commentary, like “Did you do all your own skating in the movie?” and “How does that feel in your butt?”
Billie Piper
I’ll admit it; I’d be sorely tempted to lock this one in the basement, and never let her go. But a more humane approach would be to do such things to this saucy little strumpet that she would stay a voluntary captive.
But she’d have to do a few things for me. In addition to allowing me to plaster her face with man caulk several times a day, the beautiful Ms. Piper would have to sing any one of her British pop hits on command, and call me “guvuner”. It would also really help if she’d be enthusiastic about getting it up the pooper, because it’ll be going there a lot.
Between sessions, I’d ask her questions about Christopher Eccelson, like if he was pissed that he didn’t get the role of the young Grand Moff Tarkin in Revenge of the Sith. I’ll bet he was.
Let’s be fair – Chris Eccleston was a shit Doctor too.
I think he brought something different to the role, I kinda liked it. But let’s be frank, I watch it for Billie, whom I would drill like I was looking for oil.
As much as Michelle Trachtenberg’s attitude puts me off, I have to agree with your choice. She’s way too hot not to punish.
Your comment made me think; perhaps I was too kind to Ms. Trachtenberg. I believe I’ll rectify that oversight in a future post.
Love your site, by the way.